I got a very sad news today. My good friend Alia is threatened with a fatal ailment. She has some king of bloodclot in the brain or something. Quite bad I guess. Why is life so cruel. I was lost for words when she called me a moment ago. Very depressed now... :(

I screwed up so badly! I lost someone I care about. Never lie to a friend even if you think it is best to not hurt her. Cos believe me, she would get hurt even more if she finds out. And worst, you may loose a true friend.

Here's what happened, last Tuesday and Wednesday, I hung out with Britta after school. I can't remember when was the last time we did that, we had a lot of fun. And on Friday, I promised to hang out with her again. Then, Steph asked me if I'm coming down to city hall to meet her and chill out, which is what we often do on Friday's. BUT, that morning, Steph and Britta had a little quarrel so Britta didn't want to meet Steph that day. Thus, Britta twisted the truth when asked if she's coming down. I ended up lying to Steph saying that I'm chilling with my schoolmate near school, cos I didn't want to complicate things between Britta and Steph. So, Britta and I ended up in town. We decided to go to town to avoid Steph cos Steph usually slacked in city hall. But Steph saw us there and she felt betrayed and backstabbed by us cos we lied to her. Till now things are just not the same anymore.

I'm sorry Steph. I never mean't to hurt you. All I wish is things go back the way they were. I already miss the great times we used to have. I can't stand to think that we won't be seeing each other again. Though the things I did is unforgivable, but all I have is these 5 words to offer you.

Hab dich lieb. I'm sorry...

Today is my mom's birthday. Bought her a pen cos I didn't know what else to get and she's always complaining that there's no pen in the house when she needs to write. Hope you like it mom. Love you lots. Also, a very happy birthday to Kenji's sister, Mayuka who's also celebrating her birthday today.

A good friend sent me an sms which said, "In life, god doesn't give u ppl u want but he gives ppl u need. To teach u, hurt u, love u & make u exactly the way u shld be." This is somewhat true. People around you do make a difference in your life, be it in little ways or a whole lot. The people around you also molds you to what you have become and will keep on affecting you till your dying day. It's a nice message actually. Quite deep. A very lovely gesture. But there's one problem, people around me make me exactly the way that I am, but I don't like the way I am...

I'm now in the computer lab in schhol. Fucken bored. Skipped class cos I didn't do an assigment and I'm lazy to hear my lecturer nag. So here I am in the computer lab chatting with my friend through the msn mssenger . But, she's just beside me. So So Bored. But then again, what's new...

Strange how life goes innit? Like how you love being alone yet it's you feel so empty and it's killing you. Like how you love having company around you yet, you feel so bored with the company that you wished that you could just die. Sigh...

Today started out okay. Had my PQS exam in the morning. Screwed that one up for sure. After the exam, some of us slacked at Al-Ameen Coffeeshop for a few hours. The weather, raining cats and dogs, was perfect for slacking at a coffeeshop and having a refreshing tete-a-tete among buddies. After that, I met Steph at City Hall. Really glad to see her. Had a some drinks, whigh was the highpoint of today, and slacked at the tunnel between Memo and The Esplanade. I was feeling dead bored by then slacking with Steph and her skinhead friends. So, I decide to take a walk along The Esplanade. Started messaging Rafizah and complaining to her about hopeless life. Hope I didn't bore her with it. The rest of the day was such a bore that I don't bother to type it down.....